Fissure eNewsletter
Volume 1
May 2004
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Public Workshops:
Curriculum
Public Registration
Basic PM Simulation: June 7-9 August 2-4 September 13-15
Advanced PM Simulation: May 19-21 July 14-16 September 22-24
Leadership & Change Management Simulation: June 24-25
PMP Exam Prep: August 13
MS Project: September 27
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"Out
of the Mouth of Babes" a column where PM &
Family intersect
"Who's
In Charge Here?"
By Geof Lory
The
first time I realized that I really have no control over my children was when my
first daughter decided she didn't like strained peas. They ended up everywhere
but in her mouth. In spite of all my baby talk, choo-choo train imitations and
funny faces, the peas just never made it past those little gums. Welcome to
parenting, a state where in spite of your size, power and knowledge, you are
helpless to get the simplest things done if your child is an unwilling
participant.
It is now a dozen or more years later, and not much has
really changed. My daughter still doesn't like peas and I'm still constantly
reminded that I can't control her. What has changed is that we have figured out
how, in spite of our different interests and my lack of control over her, we can
still get things done together. I've learned that to get things done when I'm
not in control, it works best when I phrase and present them in a fashion that
appeals to her wants, not my need. Then we stand a chance of getting what we
both want.
The first project I managed was small, only a few developers
and myself. (They were older than my daughters are now, but not by much.) Not
only was I in charge of the project, but I was also organizationally their
supervisor, certainly an enviable position. I only needed to make decisions and
direct their activities through the schedule and everything would work out fine.
At least that was how my boss indicated it should happen. Needless to say, while
it wasn't as messy as the peas with my daughter, the results were every bit as
disastrous. For the record, peas are easier to get off your face than egg.
Where was my control? I had been granted control of them and the project
by the organization. Why couldn't they see that and act accordingly? So, on the
urging of my manager, I attempted to regain control of the project. I tightened
up the reins, held them to my deadlines and we got down to business. Or at least
I did. They got down to updating their resume and were gone before the project
was in production. I was left to clean up the mess from their last unproductive
month.
This was a good lesson for me, and one that has been reinforced
many times over by my daughters. People do work, and contrary to our beliefs,
you can't truly control people. You can, however, direct them, support them,
encourage them and maybe even give the illusion that you are controlling them,
but don't kid yourself, you are never really in control. These are people -
little or big. Breathing, thinking people, with the ability and right to choose.
And everyday, I hope the people on my teams consciously choose to be on the team
and do the work that needs to get done. At least then we stand a chance of
success.
My daughters are not yet old enough to be on their own, and Dad
still has tasks for them to do. Some tasks are things they "have to" do and
others are optional. Going to school is not optional, feeding the dog is.
Similarly, there are those things that they "want to" do and those they "don't
want to" do. In general, they don't want to do Saturday morning chores, but they
do want to go to the mall shopping. In Geoffrey Bellman's book, Getting
Things Done When You Are Not In Charge, he creates a matrix for how
people work, or don't work with you based on these two simple perspectives -
want to and have to. It looks like this:
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Don't
Have To |
Have
To |
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Want
To |
Attraction |
Acceptance |
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Don't
Want To |
Absence |
Reluctance |
One
look at this matrix and you can probably recall times when team members have
been in one quadrant or the other, and the associated challenges and benefits.
Absence: Don't have to and don't want to. This one is
actually better than it would appear on the surface. With no need or desire,
there will be no action. But at least you will know it, and usually right away.
Reluctance: Have to and don't want to. Here your authority
comes not from you, but from your position, and as such work will only get done
to the level enforced by the organization and relinquished by the individual.
This often leaves both sides feeling unfulfilled or unempowered as they feel
choice has been taken away and they are victims of their situation. At best
non-productive, at worst counter-productive.
Attraction: Want
to and don't have to. These people are engaged because they get something
they want out of the relationship. They have made the choice to stay engaged and
make a contribution even though it is not required of them.
Acceptance: Want to and have to. The key to maximizing
this quadrant is to emphasize the want to over the have to. Leveraging the
desire and building on that will eventually create the commitment that will
maximize productivity of the individual and team.
I've simplified
Bellman's model in the interest of space, but the moral of the story is: The
only way to get people to do what they don't want to do is to get them to want
to do what they don't want to do. As leaders and as parents, we can be more
successful by guiding and supporting than by controlling and dictating.
I say all this as my oldest, Jenna, will begin driver's education in
only a few months. Will I be feeling out of control? You bet! When the stakes
are low, it may be easy or tolerable to relinquish our sense of control. But as
the ante is upped, so goes our need to feel in control. Add to this our belief
in our own personal knowledge, skills and abilities on how it should be done or
that we can do it better, and we have a recipe for disaster. (I learned this
lesson recently when I tried to teach my wife how to golf. Another fine mess I
got myself into.)
Ultimately,
our long-term effectiveness will come from how well we leverage the skills of
those on our team. Just like parenting, our effectiveness is a result of our
influence not our position. We may be able to temporarily control behavior, but
that does not last long and certainly limits us to our own capabilities. My
daughters are growing up fast, and each day they challenge me more on how I can
continue to influence their development and maturation. And after all, isn't
that our real job? To help others achieve their potential. If I can say I have
done that, I will consider my vocations, parent and project manager, successful.
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Geof Lory is a Partner for GTD Consulting,
LLC, an information technology
consulting and training firm based in St. Paul, Minn. Geof is a Master Trainer
for the Microsoft Solutions Framework, Master Trainer for the entire CompTIA
Project Management and Project + curriculum, and is a certified guide for
Fissure Simulation Workshops. As a member of the beta teams for MSF, Gartner,
and the Fissure Project Management Simulation products, Geof has developed
specialized workshops that integrate the common principles and disciplines with
organizational tools. With 20
years of project management experience, Geof clearly reveals a passion for his
craft in all settings and applies his experiences in a fashion that is both
entertaining and educational. |
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